@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.
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@GrowlyGrego: Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor "Have you ever turned down heroin?" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers.
@PaperWash: dad: I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN son: HI VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU YOUNG MAN IM GREG dad: omg [sheds a tear]
@rocknthepurple: 2yo's favorite cartoon is teaching him about centrifugal force. When I was little, my favorite cartoon taught me never to order from Acme.