@briangaar: Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
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@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller
@KeetPotato: [on phone to gf] her: "you never understand me anymore so.." me: "so what?" her: "we're breaking up" me: "i can hear you fine"
@jonnysun: *sees sister's facebook post that her dog died* how do i tell her i love her & i'll always be there for her *clicks sad face button* perfect