@briangaar: Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
@notalogin: My favorite part of a date is the sweet, seedy flesh. Wait, sorry, that's my favorite part of a fig, I always get figs and dates mixed up.
@jharden21: Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties