@briangaar: Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home
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@isaaaa: Things I constantly worry about pressing: 1. "Like" while ex stalking 2. Send all drafts 3. A baby's soft spot Yes, this list is in order.
@Parentpains: According to the police report, waking up in your lover's arms is only romantic when they know how you got in their house.
@hippieswordfish: ME: how do u get girls SCUMBAG GUY: gotta brag about the size of ur, ya know...organ [later at the bar] ME: hey baby i got a real big colon