@goodhairperson: I forgot the word "torch" earlier today so I googled "fire on a stick." I have two degrees in English.

@thesulk: I have no beef with vegetarians.

@mama_earp: Announced sternly to students today that "only hard things are worth doing!" In other news, I have a bunch of parent emails to respond to.

@Green_EyedMama: Watch Forrest Gump *feel inspired *toss orthotics out, go for jog *1/2 block later, keel over and die next to shit happens bumper sticker

@dafloydsta: [spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' "Can you use it in a sentence?" Of course I can, don't be stupid