@snesfu: Girl, get dressed up real nice. I'm taking you to bee disease day.
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@TEXASVETERAN: I just swallowed my record player's needle and nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happened to me, nothing's happe
@Try2StopME: Maggi is the girlfriend of the food world. It says 2 minutes but never gets ready in less than 20 minutes.
@jonnysun: JESUS: today im going to walk on water JUDAS: NO DONT-- [jesus walks onto ocean. entire ocean turns to wine. all ocean life dies instamtly]