@imagine_vegas: Girl, I like you so much, I might even let you hold my phone....some day, while its locked
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@SlabBaconBP: I don't hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch.
@huntigula: psychic: [sees guy in crowd w/ a pony tail] Sir did u know a Chad? "yes" From karate? "YES" Chad wants u to know he's ok *guy starts crying*
@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard