@McNevich: Girl in front of me at the store this morning bought a Kool-Aid Burst and a big Slim Jim. Heroes walk amongst us, folks. Real life heroes.
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@thegingercorn: 9 just turned the toaster all the way up and basically made charcoal for breakfast, so I'm ordering new furniture with his college fund.
@Brampersandon_: [infomercial] ME: wanna know how to lose 15 lbs with 1 easy trick?! AUDIENCE: YES! *a surgeon amputates my leg right there on stage*