@MsNitnots: Girl in front of me on the bus just sent a text that was like a novel and the response was like a word and now even I'm pissed off about it.
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@MartaEffing: A hot mess? No, thanks. Sounds sticky and uncomfortable. I prefer my messes like I prefer my revenge: cold and served to someone else.
@KeetPotato: [schmoozing at fancy dinner] me: im a private investigator wife: you're allowed to say gynaecologist, keith me: people are eating, linda
@wickedsuga: Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to be a complete idiot. Just be the best idiot you can be.