@jewfacekilla: Girl in the locker room put her pants on the floor and tried to hop into them. I was going to call her awesomepants, but coma girl works too
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@PajamaBen_: "The Sun is dying. We need help" the scientists are speechless. Cool Dad kicks in the door & removes his shades "It's daylight savings time"
@WilliamRodgers: TRUE STORY Just made this restaurant change its "All you can drink Brunch" Policy.
@HitsBelowBelt: What kinda psychopath tries to get in touch with someone by calling them on the phone. What is this...1984?
@sixthformpoet: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him.