@paulrobalino: Girl, is your dad Louis Vuitton? Because you have such big bags under your eyes. Wait am I doing this right
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@TheAlexNevil: Boss: What are you doing here on a Saturday?? Me (eating leftovers from fridge): ...reports.
@DistractedMomma: I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs.
@KeetPotato: never trust a person who says they don't like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them