@TwiCarlyGleeber: Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. "HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@karanbirtinna: Women on Twitter who boast about the crumbs they catch in their bras have no idea how much food I can carry around in my turban.
@Home_Halfway: I always have a nightlight on when I go to bed in case someone breaks in and wants to see how cute I look when I'm sleeping.