@ScottLinnen: Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction.
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@Kathleen_McGee: The cool thing about being broke is you can tell your friends you aren't drinking for a while & they think you're getting your shit together
@daemonic3: "Choose password" > 123bob "Password must not contain common names & must be complex with at least 50 characters" > gameofthrones "OK"
@MsLighthouseCat: Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken.
@jackiembouvier: I just saw a girl hang half her body out the window of her car to give someone the finger. She is my spirit animal.