@ScottLinnen: Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge, you need typosuction.
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@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
@sfreeze6: So who WERE Huey, Dewey and Louie's parents, anyway? And why did they let them spend so much time with their insane, pantsless uncle?
@dankmtl: Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!
@KimmyMonte: [Jesus' dating profile] I love wine that's made from water, taking long walks on the ocean and going to supper w my friends.