@SkinnerSteven: Girl you got more red flags than a well played game of minesweeper
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@ImaFlyontheWall: Watching police ticket people parked incorrectly that are in church right now and understanding that Jesus and karma have a sense of humor
@rockymomax: [At bar] BARTENDER: I dont think she wants to talk man ME: [dabbing on pickle juice as cologne] I think I know what the ladies want pal
@SleazySli: I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.