@SkinnerSteven: Girl you got more red flags than a well played game of minesweeper
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@Ideal_Victoria: Note to self: Next time your migraine specialist asks "How's your head?" Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."
@squirrel74wkgn: [dinner w/friends] "How long you two been married?" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time.
@LOsepyan: I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day
@Burger_Time_: Theres plenty of fish in the sea. Theres loads of trash at the dump. Theres tons of bones in a skeleton. Bugs are everywhere.