@GoldenSpirals: It's raining. I'm going to be late for work. I can't fit my hair in the car.

@Elizasoul80: I walk around in public saying "wait for me guys" so everyone thinks I have friends.

@MindyFurano: me linking you to my twitter

@better_off_dad: Life is like a Rubik's Cube It may look like a jumbled mess at first, but in the end it will make you want to beat the shit out of someone.

@MartaEffing: I'm pretty sure the chick at this drive thru had me repeat, 'I'll take a number two', multiple times so she could laugh at me.