@theNuzzy: Girlfriend is on her way over. Aaaaaaannd history deleted.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says "Shaved Ice"
@aka_fatman: Yesterday, I told my son about the Tooth Fairy. Today, I find 33 teeth under his pillow. Clearly they are not his. I am very, very afraid.
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to kids: "Yes, I'll play, as soon as I finish my coffee." (Genius! We all know parents never get to actually finish a cup of coffee.)