@theNuzzy: Girlfriend is on her way over. Aaaaaaannd history deleted.
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@UnFitz: For Halloween I'm giving out razor blades with candy in them. These kids'll be shaving away and then BAM - nougat everywhere.
@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.
@SortaBad: Workin hard. Putting my nose to the grindstone. Grinding away that nose. Barely any nose left now. Whole face messed up. Due for a promotion