@Qckhd: Girlfriend kept nagging at me to put the toilet seat down. So here I am, crying in the middle of a field, with the seat & a shotgun.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DragonflyJonez: Future said "I wake up on a daily basis" so he other does so much drugs that that's an accomplishment or he doesnt know thats what people do
@joejwest: [vet school] ME: Welcome, students. Hope you brought textbooks because- [spins cat on finger like basketball] -I have no idea what I'm doing
@primawesome: Dating is just deciding if you like a person more than being lonely, then choosing wrong.
@SigneSaysSo: My pants are so tight I'm legitimately afraid they won't fit if I miss a day of shaving my legs.