@Douchekevin: Girlfriend kept nagging me to take her home to meet my family, so I did. Her and my wife aren't getting along.
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@awordforaword: *men apologize for their weakness* *women apologize for their strength* *aliens probe neither*
@Breadery: There is nothing sadder than waking and turning to see the love of your life's face to find she has deflated in the night.
@PeterMolydeux: You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying