@Douchekevin: Girlfriend told me she wants me to pull her hair , but apparently not while she's driving. Girls are weird.
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@ShockTartBionic: Your baby's got pink eye, bronchitis AND a double ear infection? Are you even trying to keep him alive?
@SwedishCanary: If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
@thenoahkinsey: As long as the stupid phrase "interracial relationship" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a "color-coordinated relationship."