@SonOfCha: Girls adore it when you guess their weight as they walk by.
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@Owl_Meat: [Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*
@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: You put "summoning demons" as a special skill? ME: That's right. INTERVIEWER: *sweating profusely* When can you start?
@lovemydogduck: The only times I go for a jog is when there's a cute guy in front of me or a creepy guy behind me.