@JKNenagh: Girls are a lot like oceans,
but once a month
it's shark week.
@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread?
The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@pizzasauceboss: HOT SINGLES IN YOUR FANNYPACK WANT TO GO IN THE VENDING MACHINE.
@the_rock_chic: A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes...
@INDlAN_: When someone tells me they’re a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: “wow your parents must’ve yelled at you to do your homework a lot”
@MarkTConard: Someone hash-tagged "share the love," and I read it as "shave the love." I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that.