@JKNenagh: Girls are a lot like oceans,
but once a month
it's shark week.
@RidiculousSheri: In hindsight, naming my family portrait studio Let Me Shoot Your Kids, was probably not the best business decision.
@MikeBigby: ME: my dog ate my homework
TEACHER AT MY DOG FOOD CULINARY SCHOOL: that is good
@LoveNLunchmeat: Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold.
@davidkenny100: I grew up just a stone's throw away from where that whole family died of mysterious head injuries
@murrman5: Sorry I lied about knowing how to play the piano. What's that? Yes, I agree it made the funeral uncomfortable.