@JKNenagh: Girls are a lot like oceans,
but once a month
it's shark week.
@bashfulcoward: Girls love it when guys:
- are respectful
- are handsome
- eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun
@truegritrumble: (First Day as an Interior Decorator)
ME: I'm not sure this giant cross is right for this space.
PRIEST: Again, this is a church.
@imskytrash: (to kid at lemonade stand) i ain't buying shit until i find you on yelp
@internetluke: [Seahawks locker room]
Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score!
Wilson: well put! Well put!
@OfficeofSteve: when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..