@daniel_shaw: Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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@OhReallyRach: If cupids didnt have wings, theyd just be fat little baby assassins with crossbows.
@panmidwest: I respect the guy who drives his Blue BMW through the White Castle drive thru. It's like he's saying: "I'm better than you—but not by much."
@Vodkantots: If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously.