@daniel_shaw: Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@nickcreelman: Coworker: it's dark already Me: I know, Dan. I have eyes CoW: it's only 5 'o clock Me: I KNOW DAN CoW: it's early Me: THAT'S HOW EARTH WORKS
@aveuaskew: Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
@HonestToddler: Parents: It's unfair to put your toddler on a leash if you're not going to also let them pee next to parked cars.