@daniel_shaw: Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
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@KeetPotato: interviewer: "so what makes you think you'd be good at checking tickets at our cinema?" me: [picks up my résumé and rips it a little bit]
@chuuew: 911: What's you're emergency? ME: You mean "your"? 911: OK. So..? ME: Someone's murdering me 911: You mean "murdered" ME:.. 911: [dial tone]
@CarrieMayhem: People who say "you can run but you can't hide" have never played hide & seek with me.. or seen me run.
@hippieswordfish: '911 HELP SOMEONE BROKE INTO MY HOUSE' uh ok, wow. not loving your tone. why don't you hang up, lose the 'tude and lets try that again, pal