@BakedBrotatoes: Girls are just like pasta. Throw her against the wall, if she sticks, she's ready.
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@ilovepie84: Ever get out of the shower and not remember getting a towel ready but its there anyway? You're welcome.
@IAmKatieOrr: "Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u? ME: OMG SAME HER: What part's ur fave? ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo