@CarolinaSong: Girls are like math problems. If they are under 18, its best you do them in your head
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@MoneypennyNaked: Me: Sorry, I can't tonight. I already made plans. Him: That's too bad. There's going to be open bar and-- Me: What time should I be there?
@girlontapas: Diet app pops up "What did you have for dinner?" *looking at glass of wine* *turns off phone*