@TitaniumToplass: Girls are like tornadoes because in pictures it's like wow those look cool but in person it's all omg what do I do
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@zachreinert03: My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool
@murrman5: wife: its ruining date night me: its ruining date night because you're letting it ruin date night hitchhiker: just drop me off on the corner
@JohnBoyStyle: Knock, knock Who's there? Wu Wu who? I wouldn't get too excited sir, I'm here to impound your car.