@Mish3l_Ali: Girls can be so ungrateful, I made her breakfast in bed, & instead of saying "Thank You", she's all like "How did you get into my house!"
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@Mr_Kapowski: - Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?
@shutupmikeginn: Can't wait for the first bad thing to happen in 2017 so I can post "what is this, 2016?" Ha! Today an on duty seeing eye dog growled at me.
@RichardDreyfuss: You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.
@velweb: My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.