@MsSweetTeaz: Girls dont dress up to impress guys. We dress up to impress other girls. If we wanted to impress guys we would just run around naked all day
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@LostLettermen: In response to McDonald's pay with hugs campaign, Nationwide will allow you to pay for insurance with DEATH.
@Tmoney68: At my funeral, I'm stipulating in my will that after the eulogy is read the crowd can have 15 minutes for rebuttal, just to be fair.
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'm far less concerned with who let it out, and more curious as to why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
@shutupmikeginn: I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.