@edana_irish: Girls go to the bathroom together because that's where we rap battle
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@goldengateblond: Tim Cook bravely announces he's gay. The world pats his hand like a kindly grandmother. "We know, dear."
@joe_binkley: What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?
@maughammom: Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember.
@iAmDelFreaky: Mom: Any big plans today? Me: Yes, of course, my friend is coming over and... Mom: The mail doesn't come on Sundays. Me: Oh, then no. :'(