@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
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@WilliamRodgers: I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave "quicker"
@NotthatAdamWest: The scariest thing about survival of the fittest is that it means the idiots currently surrounding you are the best evolution has to offer.
@therealeatwood: [Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can’t because I ate it MACHINE: Place the