@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
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@PaulyPeligroso: To spice things up in the bedroom, I have my wife dress up as a pizza boy. Then, I have her put the pizza on the counter and then leave.
@SCbchbum: If horror movies have taught me anything, it's lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
@3sunzzz: [bed] M: "I'm freezing." H: *rolls over, adjusts pillows and blankets, wraps around me* [1 min later] M: "I'm hot, get off me."