@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
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@Elizasoul80: [At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? "Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."
@Jake_Vig: Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?
@RowanElHossary: I cried during that sad part of Titanic, when Rose threw that beautiful diamond in the ocean.