@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
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@GlennyRodge: Daddy bear: my porridge is too hot. Mummy bear: my porridge is too cold. Baby bear: aren't we supposed to eat fish?
@wolfpupy: heres my To Do List - become the new kfc colonel, mess with texas, invent a new animal just to piss off scientists
@CauseWereGuys: My roommate is 3 days younger than me so ive gotten in the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 3 days ago
@WGladstone: "She's got legs. She knows how to use them." "So she's ambulatory then?" "... I guess?" "And is that really all you're looking for?"