@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
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@WhirledRecord: USA: "Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?" Canada: "OK." *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*
@PajamaBen_: *cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you
@david8hughes: "The toilet's blocked pretty bad so I called the plumber. Should be here later tod-" [Bowser spits coffee] "Which plumber?"