@GinAndJif: Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?
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@AndrewChamings: Break bad news to teens by talking on THEIR level. ME [spinning on chair in daughter’s room]: Yo, turns out grandma’s heart is weak af.
@Sam19eighty: Mom: I'm worried you might end up alone. nMe: Don't worry mom, do you know how many followers i have???nMom: ... ( Worried face)
@withanewname: If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college
@ColIegeStudent: using microsoft word *moves an image 1 mm to the left* all text and images shift. 4 new pages appear. in the distance, sirens.