@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy
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@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
@holypurgatory: Step 1: Buy a 3D printer. Step 2: Print a 3D printer. Step 3: Return the 3D printer.
@ElKnuckelhombre: My 7 yr. old thought it would be really funny to hold up a sign in the back window of the car that said "HELP ME!". It was not.