@StevieKnip: Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy
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@Amber_duds: For the past 2 nights my stomach sounds like cat purring when I lay down. I'm terrified to Web MD this. I'm too young to have kittens.
@joerogan: There's an age where being drunk becomes pathetic but if you hang in there somewhere around 70 it becomes cool again.
@BrainFumbles: How to get a woman: 1) find one who sells cars 2) take a test drive 3) just keep driving She's yours now, plus you have a new car.
@AdamUrbane: This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground.