@SergioValenCo: Girls love when you hug them from behind and whisper sweet nothings in their ears. Strangers, not so much.
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@minafisheyes: Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up.
@InternetHippo: GOD: I designed this world with a purpose, why did u change everything PEOPLE: We— [pug walks by] GOD: What…the HELL…is that
@KeetPotato: [bono dressed as magician] "think of a song any song" purple haze "right n- no, a U2 song" oh ok um.. elevation? "ok now.. check your phone"