@DannyEarl: Girls say they want a guy who is funny and spontaneous but when I tap on the window at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming
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@dshack8: Pre-Having Daughters: *Hates hearing "NO" from women Post-Having Daughters: *Teaches them "NO" in 167 different languages including Klingon
@DirtyySouthMess: Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well.
@Sean_Burgundy_: The fastest land animal is a guy that sees a woman about to go through his phone