@MandiAtRandom: Girls storing chips in their bras...pfft amateurs. I've got spaghetti and half a taco from this afternoon in there
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@david8hughes: Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done
@AngelaEhh: OMG you guys. I just got asked out. By a real live guy. I don't know what to do!? Play dead? Duck and roll? I'm so confused!!
@QwertyJones3: MY DAD: Foreigners in this country need to learn English. ALSO MY DAD: I heard you got a new hi-bird car.