@shawnspree: Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34.
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@oxygenplug: *you see a bear approaching you* Quick play dead! *bears comes running up* Oh god! OH GOD! What's happening!? Wake up! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
@karatechopmonk: I tried coke once. And then for like another 3 years to make sure I didn't like it
@cray_at_home_ma: Me, to all my kids before the age of 2. "No screens allowed." On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad. "This is your mother now."