@B0niferd: Girls who say bestie are the worstie.
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@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don't set the romantic mood right by curtains.
@michaeljhudson: Whoops, pizza sauce on my hands. Better wash this off with soap and water. Oh poop on my ass? I'll just use this dry paper and call it good.
@hazelmotes1: I keep my monocle freshly waxed so it easily slips out of my eye socket and falls into my cup of tea whenever I'm shocked by your behavior.