@reesespiece_: Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you
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@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.
@david8hughes: Dr: it looks like you've contracted sumatta Me: what is that? Dr: what is what? Me: sumatta Dr [grits teeth]: say it together
@E_lok44: The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is.
@Contwixt: Good news: It works the other way around. I entered "internal bleeding" & "unconscious" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew.