@reesespiece_: Girls, your friends lied when they said chopping your hair off looked cute. They are just happy that their man wont want to bang you
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@EJGomez: "dad mom wont tell me where babies come from" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US
@notfaizzy: Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you.
@LlamaInaTux: (Invention of the necktie) I can't figure out how to tie this silk noose. Looks like I'll have to go to the dinner party after all.