@JennInTheCorner: Give a banana to your uninvited house guest. Hold another banana up to your ear. Only respond to questions asked thru the "banana phone".
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@_troyjohnson: Worst idea you’ll ever have is oiling your 4 year-old’s squeaky bedroom door. Congratulations, you just made a ninja.
@_Jkriegs: A street preacher told me that gays cause floods, & my first reaction was to call my friend Ben & ask him what other rad shit he could do
@PinkCamoTO: I miss the 80s, when you could hide an alien in your room for 3 days before mom found out and five kids on bikes could outsmart the police.
@JordanPeele: I bet Eve bit that apple because she knew she was going to get a bunch of clothes out of it.