@rolldiggity: Give a man a cat and he eats for a day. Give him too many cats, and people will be like, "Are you giving cats to that guy who eats cats?!?"
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@jergarl: [At gang interview] GangLeader: You wanna be in our gang Me: Yep GL: What qualities do you.. M: *Already snapping fingers GL: You're in
@SortaBad: "If you approach a bear in the woods, lie down and play dead" - brilliant rumor started by lazy bears
@rickolantern: Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.