@rolldiggity: Give a man a cat and he eats for a day. Give him too many cats, and people will be like, "Are you giving cats to that guy who eats cats?!?"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ImSoFrancis: [if my brain were a computer] uhg why's the calculator app being so slow *closes math tab to reveal 53 other tabs all playing cottoneye joe*
@KalvinMacleod: HER: it’s over between us ME: is it because of all my embroidery puns? HER: I thought you would stop ME: sew it seamed
@pixelatedboat: I was the fastest gun in the West, I'd shoot you with a ham before you could even ask "What is that, some sort of ham cannon?"
@TheToddWilliams: Kid: WAAAHH! MY TOY IS BROKEN!! Dad: Nothing a little duct tape won't fix... Kid: mfflr..frrrr..strnnn