@rolldiggity: Give a man a cat and he eats for a day. Give him too many cats, and people will be like, "Are you giving cats to that guy who eats cats?!?"
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@squirrel74wkgn: A haunted house would be pretty scary if it was filled with light switches that accidentally turned on the garbage disposal.
@Ivsy01: (Writing in food journal) me: for lunch I had sa......... trainer: (interrupting) salad. awesome. me: sake.