@Tmoney68: Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
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@DamonHunzeker: If you're able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@TheToddWilliams: Girl: I love Medieval Art Boy: Who doesn't? There he is now Medieval Art: Good morrow! Pray tell- How fare thee on this day of providence?
@JohnHilsen: The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he'd get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day.