@Tmoney68: Give a man a fish and chances are you won't be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
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@behindyourback: *falls down a well* *Lassie runs to the edge and peers down* *me, yelling* TELL NO ONE, YOU BLABBERMOUTH DOG, I LIVE HERE NOW
@MelvinofYork: I could be in a store desperately looking for gauze to treat a knife wound and I'd still tell a clerk that approached me I was just browsing
@STitusR: Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat.
@david8hughes: [at work] "Mornin, Margaret." "Mornin. You're late today." [looks at watch] "Not as late as your dead husband though, am I?"