@justabloodygame: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.
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@Douchekevin: Four 6 year old girls playing quietly at 7am is called a horde of elephants having a foot race.
@notabeanie: DOC: good news is you'll make it ME: phew! DOC: ...into the the record book for stupidest way to die ME: *still vomiting marshmallows*
@BuckyIsotope: Did you know that if everyone in the U.S. donated just one pint of blood, we could pour it over the Statue of Liberty and be hella cool?