@LordofScribble: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Slap a man with the same fish and the video will go viral in under 48 hours. #Truth
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@hazelmotes1: *gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*
@robfee: I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs.
@Beerhaze: She hated my mixed-tape back in high school. Last month she gave birth to her ninth baby. Thanks for saving my life, Depeche Mode!