@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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@Brenton_Rodgers: Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
@ValeeGrrl: 5yo: [loudly whispers] MOMMY, SEE? WE'RE LETTING YOU AND DADDY SLEEP! AREN'T WE DOING GOOD? Me: [in bed] Yeah. You're doing GREAT.
@mikefossey: republican: taxes are bad democrat: they're good [i ride by on a skateboard eating go-gurt] its yogurt in a tube, dipshits. ever heard of it