@OneStopComedy: Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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@lovemydogduck: During the day I don't believe in ghosts, But at night I'm a little bit more open minded
@1Happytwit: HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me.
@davetureq: They found the charred body rolled into an old carpet, locked inside the trunk of a burned out car. The police suspect foul play.
@RichHarris2: Somebody called me a free spirit today and my heart leapt as I turned back to my paperwork.