@MajorFlake: Give a man a fish and he will think, "What a creepy gift." Teach a man to fish and he will think, "My god, I have never known such boredom"
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@MeepisMurder: in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I'm not allowed to watch Hoarders anymore because people say "let it go" too often and then I can't stop singing it, an autobiography.