@MajorFlake: Give a man a fish and he will think, "What a creepy gift." Teach a man to fish and he will think, "My god, I have never known such boredom"
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@Parentpains: "She must be shy" is probably what I say to myself the most when a woman abruptly moves across the country after talking to me.
@GoldenSpirals: My sister texted and asked if she and her kids could come over, and now I'm frantically looking for a new place to live.