@MajorFlake: Give a man a fish and he will think, "What a creepy gift." Teach a man to fish and he will think, "My god, I have never known such boredom"
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@Flattliner: I don't have a friend called Louise. If I did I would always be saying "Jeez Louise" to her. Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise.
@Cait_Plus_Eight: Your ex asking if you can still be friends is like kidnappers saying "keep in touch" after they let you go.