@TheTweetOfGod: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But why are you walking around giving men fish? That's weird, dude.
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@funnybrad: Air Bud seems like a great movie, until you realize some poor kid was cut from the team to make room on the roster for a golden retriever
@Vodkantots: When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."