@delusionaliam: Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it'll eat for weeks!
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@djdarrellripley: When I die I don't want a big funeral. I'd just like a few of my close friends to get together and try to bring me back to life...
@truegritrumble: WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*
@ClaytonSykes: If you're gonna offer free milk for coffee at a convenience store, don't get all weird when I bring in a dry bowl of cereal.