@FeelingMervis: Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, "Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"
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@sixfootcandy: Sorry I sprayed bug spray in your face. Those fake eyelashes scared the hell out of me.
@LeBearGirdle: *Good Will Hunting* Professor: are you the janitor who's been solving the math equations? me: [writing '80085' on every chalkboard] yes?
@NurseMurderer: Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario &how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal, but had no milk. I used ice cream.
@redpawn3: I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?