@Kyle_Lippert: Give a man a fish & he'll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That's weird" Teach a man to fish & he'll be all "Again with the fish?"
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@MartaEffing: A bead of sweat forms on my brow. And another. Intensity builds as I decide my future and embrace it. "I'll take the maple bar, please."
@MartaEffing: When I realized my boyfriend said we should 'break up' & not 'break dance', I was sad, but also relieved.
@mattgallo123: This cashier just held my five dollar bill up to the light in case you're wondering how I do with first impressions.