@Nahdude83: Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day. Give a man a jelly fish and you can pee on him.
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@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it
@_troyjohnson: *loads dryer* Fitted Sheet: HE'S BURNING US ALIVE! COME, SHIRT! COME, PANTS! HOP IN MY BOSOM AND I WILL FORM A PROTECTIVE BALL OF MOISTURE!
@Cheeseboy22: I saw this heartwarming video of baby bears climbing out of a dumpster and thought, "Who would throw away a perfectly good baby bear?"