@Macar00ny: Give a man a subtweet and he'll be like "is this about me?" Teach a man to subtweet you'll be like "is that about me?"
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@jimmytorosian: Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*
@topaz_kell: When I treat people the way I want to be treated, they get weirded out when I start brushing their hair.
@TheBoydP: What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant? Wishful thinking. Obviously