@AntozWolf: Give a man fish and you'll feed him for a day...... Give a fish a man and you're probably in the Mafia
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@GimpySunshine: ran out of deodorant this morning, so I spritzed on some windex. Now birds keep crashing into my armpits :(
@BakedElle: I now pronounce you internet boyfriend and girlfriend. You may put your hand down your pants and kiss your phone.
@AZHORSEMOM77: I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout was crying
@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.