@rpbateman: Give me a minute, I can make this about me.
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@thenatewolf: DEBATE CAPTAIN: You're off the debate team ME: No I'm not DEBATE CAPTAIN: Damn. Where the hell was this guy at regionals?
@trumpetcake: I melted down all my various rewards cards into a universal "Rewards Dagger" that gets me a discount everywhere.
@Dutch_50: Co-worker insists on talking with his mouth full. No one can ever understand him. Wish we had a dentist was in the house to interpret.
@Mimiification: When a man tells me he's looking for a 'real woman' I scurry away because I'm actually three owls in a raincoat AND HE MUSTN'T FIND OUT.